2022 SOFT SKILLS GUIDE

Course 4: Career Advancement

Soft Skills Guide Networking - How to Network Effectively – A Simple Framework to Take Action Course: Career Advancement > Curriculum: Networking This lecture is meant to help demystify how to network effectively. Believe it or not, networking isn't always natural. Why? Because by definition networking is about building a new relationship with a stranger or having to ask someone to help you in some way. Neither of which is easy to do. The underlying worry or fear we all have is rejection. What if they don't want to connect with me? What if I'm being too pushy? What if they don't think I'm qualified? What if they don't respond? The list can go on. The way I overcome my fear and still take action is by following a framework. Following a systematic process and structure may help detach your emotions from the work and can ground you in action. This P.R.S.P. framework can also help you take action and learn how to network effectively. P - Perspective: Have a realistic perspective about networking. Rejection is only experienced if you have the perspective that 100% of your networking effort must yield results and that if they don't, it's somehow your fault. This can be a real blow to the ego and this is not a realistic perspective. People are busy, forgetful, and emails can end up in spam. All could be reasons for someone to not respond to your networking request or follow through. Many other things in life can be happening to them to cause them not to connect with you or help you even when you ask. Having the perspective that sometimes networking may not lead to anything will eliminate unrealistic expectations. I like to use the baseball analogy. If a batting average of .333 (only 33% of at-bats result in hits) is great in baseball, perhaps we can use the same metric for networking. Expect only a third of your networking effort to lead to something meaningful and appreciate that the other two thirds of your effort as what is needed to be in the networking game. With this perspective, you can appreciate all your efforts to network even when they're not fruitful. After all, if you don't network at all, you're guaranteed a batting average of 0% while denying yourself the chance to connect with some great people. R - Reason: Communicate the reason they should want to connect with you or help you: Many people like to launch into networking immediately with what they want out of it. I still remember the first week at Wharton when a fellow classmate came up to me and started peppering me with questions about McKinsey - how I liked it, how to get in, etc. I remembered physically stepping back from her and politely cutting our conversation short. Why? because I didn't really know who she was. Networking is about building relationships, where people can relate to you. I know she's a fellow classmate but she didn't give me a reason why I should talk to her at that moment. If she had simply said, "Hey Lei, I'm xxx. I heard you worked at McKinsey for 2 years. I'm really interested in working there and would love to learn from you. Can we talk sometime about it?" I would have probably said yes and told her when it was good for me to chat. She gave me two reasons to talk to her: 1) She told me she wanted to learn from my McKinsey experience, and 2) she respected my time and gave me the courtesy of deciding when it worked for me." As you can see, the reasons have to be said even if they're obvious so the other person can feel valued by you (more than transactionally) as well as know why you're approaching them. S - Specificity: Be specific about what you want from a networking exchange. A recruiter told me this advice recently and I found it to be so true and simple to follow. He said he was surprised at how many people were so vague when they networked in job search. An example is "I'm very interested in this area of your company. Here's my resume. Please let me know if you come across any opportunities that may interest me." What's wrong with this request? Three problems: 1) Open-ended and outside their control. If you don't hear back, You don't know whether there was no job, no interest, or if the person simply had no time to look for you. 2) It puts all the work on the other person. It's not their responsibility to find you a job. They can at best pass you a job if they happen to come across it. 3) It makes it easy for the other person to say "I didn't come across anything yet" when you follow up. On the other hand, being specific means You have to do most of the leg work (in this example, research job openings, Linkedin profiles and connections, etc.) Ask your contact to do something that's specific, within their control, and won't take huge effort (e.g. write an email to introduce you to someone; refer you for a job opening you found in her company; agree to meet you for an info interview). A better example in the case of job search is "I'm very interested in this area of your company. I saw that you're directly connected to the Vice President of this area. Would you mind introducing me to her so I can set up an info interview with her? Here's my resume and please let me know if you need any other information or support from me to make this happen." P - Persistence: Follow up multiple times on your requests. Since it is in your interest if your contact helps you or connects with you, it's your job to follow up and sometimes multiple times. As I said before, people are busy, forgetful, have last minute emergencies, business trips, and lives to live. Don't assume a no response to one of your emails means they don't want to help. Persistence pays and also builds a good reputation for you. Recently, I emailed someone I didn't know for an info interview. She graduated from Wharton several years before me and knew a mutual Deloitte colleague of mine. That Deloitte colleague recommended we connect since I wanted to find out more about the company she has worked at for 10+ years. I first emailed her and didn't hear back for two weeks. My immediate instinct was to reread my email and see where I could have offended her or made her not respond. Then I thought maybe my email got blocked by spam so I requested to connect with her on Linkedin and asked for an info interview. She accepted the Linkedin connection but didn't respond to my info interview request. Again, I could have taken that personally, but I decided it was meaningless. So I messaged her on Linkedin and asked again for an info interview. She responded in two days and apologized for being hard to get a hold of. After three more emails, we finally had a very nice chat. We had a lot more in common than just Wharton so we planned to meet again soon. The morale of this story is I would have never met her if I gave up after the second attempt and took everything personally. This framework continues to help me in my networking today. I hope it can do the same for you. With networking, it's best to follow the Nike slogan - Just Do It!

How to Network Effectively – A Simple Framework to Take Action

This lecture is meant to help demystify how to network effectively.

Believe it or not, networking isn’t always natural. Why? Because by definition networking is about building a new relationship with a stranger or having to ask someone to help you in some way. Neither of which is easy to do. The underlying worry or fear we all have is rejection. What if they don’t want to connect with me? What if I’m being too pushy? What if they don’t think I’m qualified? What if they don’t respond? The list can go on.

The way I overcome my fear and still take action is by following a framework. Following a systematic process and structure may help detach your emotions from the work and can ground you in action. This P.R.S.P. framework can also help you take action and learn how to network effectively.

P – Perspective: Have a realistic perspective about networking. Rejection is only experienced if you have the perspective that 100% of your networking effort must yield results and that if they don’t, it’s somehow your fault. This can be a real blow to the ego and this is not a realistic perspective. People are busy, forgetful, and emails can end up in spam. All could be reasons for someone to not respond to your networking request or follow through. Many other things in life can be happening to them to cause them not to connect with you or help you even when you ask. Having the perspective that sometimes networking may not lead to anything will eliminate unrealistic expectations.

I like to use the baseball analogy. If a batting average of .333 (only 33% of at-bats result in hits) is great in baseball, perhaps we can use the same metric for networking. Expect only a third of your networking effort to lead to something meaningful and appreciate that the other two thirds of your effort as what is needed to be in the networking game. With this perspective, you can appreciate all your efforts to network even when they’re not fruitful. After all, if you don’t network at all, you’re guaranteed a batting average of 0% while denying yourself the chance to connect with some great people.

R – Reason: Communicate the reason they should want to connect with you or help you: Many people like to launch into networking immediately with what they want out of it. I still remember the first week at Wharton when a fellow classmate came up to me and started peppering me with questions about McKinsey – how I liked it, how to get in, etc. I remembered physically stepping back from her and politely cutting our conversation short. Why? because I didn’t really know who she was. Networking is about building relationships, where people can relate to you. I know she’s a fellow classmate but she didn’t give me a reason why I should talk to her at that moment. If she had simply said, “Hey Lei, I’m xxx. I heard you worked at McKinsey for 2 years. I’m really interested in working there and would love to learn from you. Can we talk sometime about it?” I would have probably said yes and told her when it was good for me to chat. She gave me two reasons to talk to her: 1) She told me she wanted to learn from my McKinsey experience, and 2) she respected my time and gave me the courtesy of deciding when it worked for me.” As you can see, the reasons have to be said even if they’re obvious so the other person can feel valued by you (more than transactionally) as well as know why you’re approaching them.

S – Specificity: Be specific about what you want from a networking exchange. A recruiter told me this advice recently and I found it to be so true and simple to follow. He said he was surprised at how many people were so vague when they networked in job search. An example is “I’m very interested in this area of your company. Here’s my resume. Please let me know if you come across any opportunities that may interest me.” What’s wrong with this request? Three problems: 1) Open-ended and outside their control. If you don’t hear back, You don’t know whether there was no job, no interest, or if the person simply had no time to look for you. 2) It puts all the work on the other person. It’s not their responsibility to find you a job. They can at best pass you a job if they happen to come across it. 3) It makes it easy for the other person to say “I didn’t come across anything yet” when you follow up.

On the other hand, being specific means

  1. You have to do most of the leg work (in this example, research job openings, Linkedin profiles and connections, etc.)
  2. Ask your contact to do something that’s specific, within their control, and won’t take huge effort (e.g. write an email to introduce you to someone; refer you for a job opening you found in her company; agree to meet you for an info interview).

A better example in the case of job search is “I’m very interested in this area of your company. I saw that you’re directly connected to the Vice President of this area. Would you mind introducing me to her so I can set up an info interview with her? Here’s my resume and please let me know if you need any other information or support from me to make this happen.”

P – Persistence: Follow up multiple times on your requests. Since it is in your interest if your contact helps you or connects with you, it’s your job to follow up and sometimes multiple times. As I said before, people are busy, forgetful, have last minute emergencies, business trips, and lives to live. Don’t assume a no response to one of your emails means they don’t want to help. Persistence pays and also builds a good reputation for you.

Recently, I emailed someone I didn’t know for an info interview. She graduated from Wharton several years before me and knew a mutual Deloitte colleague of mine. That Deloitte colleague recommended we connect since I wanted to find out more about the company she has worked at for 10+ years. I first emailed her and didn’t hear back for two weeks. My immediate instinct was to reread my email and see where I could have offended her or made her not respond.

Then I thought maybe my email got blocked by spam so I requested to connect with her on Linkedin and asked for an info interview. She accepted the Linkedin connection but didn’t respond to my info interview request. Again, I could have taken that personally, but I decided it was meaningless. So I messaged her on Linkedin and asked again for an info interview. She responded in two days and apologized for being hard to get a hold of. After three more emails, we finally had a very nice chat. We had a lot more in common than just Wharton so we planned to meet again soon. The morale of this story is I would have never met her if I gave up after the second attempt and took everything personally.

This framework continues to help me in my networking today. I hope it can do the same for you. With networking, it’s best to follow the Nike slogan – Just Do It!